23.1.06 (Mon)
Official day at work… Assign to Yong Hong’s desk….sigh… but glad… coz LM is assigned beside mi…
Lunch… sigh… I greedy, everything wanna try… end up… so full.. wanna vomit… stupid mi…
At home… LH sick… I wanna cook one… end up everyone wanna eat cookie… okie lor…
Bad things happen... and i got quite hurt.... mi thinki mi quite easily get hurt ba...
At times... I really think I that I shouldn’t be here…. I’m bad at expressing myself… but I really at lost lor… I dun wan to affect anyone… I rather am alone…. Let myself ‘fa xie’
I miss my dad… when I stare blank… I really start to think, is he alrite… did his sickness relapse?? I miss my family more then anyone…. Though I neber say that…. But I really miss them a lot…
I really dun wanna be here… but I really wish that this Chinese new year, he can be so proud to announce to his siblings that his daughter has been chosen by the school to go overseas… so proud of his useless daughter for once…. Coz… I know… I jolly well know that a sickness like this… may not last too long…. I jus wanna do him proud…
Last year coz of his operation…. He neber got to celebrate new year… I know he quite upset… coz he is so afraid that he can’t pull thru…
I muz pull though this… I should be even more sensitive and considerate to everyone… I dun wan to do wrong things and upset anyone liao….
Today… saddy…. So I drank volka… drank quite abit… wanna get high… forget the stuff… but pity…. Mi good drinker…. Hard to get drunk one… sigh…. Afterall… mi can’t drink that much….haha… later my kidney cannot take it again…. Mi dun like myself to be so weak… so troublesome… mi dun wanna trouble ppl… I rather to learn to cope things on my own….
Sometimes… times like these… I really really wish he is here and not in LA… coz he can let mi drink… till nobody’s business….
At home... I’m the youngest… I dun need to do anything one… I dun really see the obligation to serve ppl here… coz… I dun owe ppl anything... I’m stubborn person arh…. I got temper one…. Thou I’m patient person…. I know… but I dun really agree that… if u are in bad mood… its totally alrite to put it out on other ppl… that is bullshit. Other ppl is innocent… they did nothing wrong lor… I’m a human… I got feelings… and most of all I got pride one…. Dun really take mi as a characterless person pls…. I do feel frustration… anger…. Tiredness…. Moodless…. But I wont wanna put it on other ppl… I got control…
Really wan more volka now…. Arrrhhhhh….
ITS ME
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home