Good Bye Busy May 2006....
Last day of May.. Its quite tiring month for mi... abit of recallin back...
last nite... guess no one (except one) can see mi online... my apology to ppl, folks.. well... had a bad fight yest ba... end up i block everyone (except one) before i go online to start my war.. till quite tired.. then change use phone.. till get quite sicken... then go slp. arrhh... not sayin wat happen.. coz blood boil at the thought of it liao... watever...
close eyes liao.. =.=
well... this month, i'm quite surrounded by irritating ppl that simply likes to pester mi, get on my back.. sigh..
Settle some stuff wif my ex( 3 of them) ar, sprain my back ar, my church ar, interview ar, start work ar, social wif ppl ar, almost messed up my life ar, my monthly woman thing got delay and scared the hell out of mi ar..
Really can't believe one month can happen so much...
In the mist of dilemma
Well lots of things crush into mi recently ba...
Firstly mi decided to let go of somethings ba....
Freedom is not free.... there is a price to pay...
Quoted by Angie ^^;
Mi can't say too much either liao...
Mi disappointed many ppl, i'm really sorrie abt that... I really wanna say, i hav no intention ba...
I know i shouldn't have gif up... but i really felt i cannot take it liao lo... mi still hav "7 feelings 6 lust" (did i get it correct..?? hmm ... "7 qin 6 yu".... watever!) cannot put somethings down... (sounds like nun like that... ><)
hmm dun say liao ba... i see how things goes ba...
on the otherhand... well... mi think mi very timid le.. sigh... wanna express some stuff to ppl and dun dare to say... mi muz listen ppl say liao... Muz be firm and brave and say watever i wanna say.... be back... my sec sch 'me' ba.. haha.. mi sec sch time more brave ba.. haha... nw so many to think... like face ar... sigh... throw them all to trash can ba !!
I gotta get things clear... asap.... else think my mood still as low morale le... hahaha....
First day of work...
hee hee... go to work wif my Airen... Was abit sad that we cannot work together at the same location...
At company ar.. then i found out... i not station in HQ.. i going to Harbourfront there....
hahaa....
abit happy... coz nearer my house.. then think got str bus... but hor.. think i should change my train concession to bus liao... otherwise how i take bus sia..
In the afternoon... say good bye to my Airen.. then off we go on our separate ways to our site...
sigh.... the place like abit in a mess... its a big room.. but many ppl left liao.. move to new site... our dept left to do final cover up.. then will move to a new site in Aug ba...
At there met some nice ppl.. but i still new-comer shy ba... dare not approach to talk le... so my half of the day... spend there read notes... 1478 page le... wanna die one lo... haiz... think cannot make it.. should approach ppl ba... else how ar..
Oh ya.. today met up wif my frien.. he rush down to pick mi up in time.. its nice of him.. thanx alot.. then he bring mi go eat dinner, sori ar.. mi abit waste of food.. but really cannot finish..then go queensway play pool, mood actually quite dampen.. coz the place abit bad shape.. cue sux.. table old..plus more is receive msg from my ex ba.. wah.. perfect hit sia.. mood 180 deg change.. I turn off my hp..
Lookin at the situation... He end the game quick, then took mi for a ride up Mount faber see mountain view.. well.. its a good try.. i felt really better.. after that he send mi back.. coz late liao... have to go home Zzz... coz mi last nite neber slp at all... quite tired liao le.. why i neber slp... quite simple lo... some fella msg mi in the middle of the nite, jus before i wanna fall alsp... Hai mi cannot fall aslp since then.. neh, the one msg mi spoil my pool mood one lo..
Being Willing
when asked to do things... it is very important to ask if it is alrite for the other..
neber call ppl to do doing things according to your wishes.. coz u and not me... do u know how does it feels like anot... to be like a puppet... so dumb..
very clear example...
I wanna company my parents to temple... some may know.. i'm a christian.. i shouldn't go temple to pray.. but the idea now is.. I wan to company my parents ! Its not i going temple to pray. Is it cannot??
Dun jus say..
"Go temple is morning thing, afternoon should be free"
Me: After that i cannot company my parents go out huh???
"U can refuse, say u dun wan to go"
Me: Are u mi?? that u know i dun wan to go??? why are u making decisions for mi??
coz of these... i begin to feel again.... is it i got no rights... i cannot have my own stand..?
I thought things are ought to be done thru one's own will..?
If things are acted according to wat ppl say... I think i'm losing myself here...
Dun push mi liao... i have enuff liao... Like wat everyone is tellin mi... learn how to reject ppl... now i guess... ya.... i should learn how to say 'no'... wats good of being good to everyone around mi and cruel to my own feelings...
Its a grown up world... not kid anymore.. Ppl are not as sensitive enuff to consider... then be it...
Sprain my back.... so stupid....
now got two big plaster pasted on my back...... so stupid....
cannnot say anymore liao.... now walkin like granny... so stupid.....
arrrrhhhh..... so stupid.....
end up... neber go anywhere... stay in bed..... struck in bed....
cannot move
the strain is killin mi... at least i still can move my fingers to type..
As free as bird...
I have attained my freedom once and again... lol... not that i'm bad in things... jus its fate... i dun like to waste everything i hav on things that i can't hav..
Simple as that...
Shoppin...~~
yest got my wallet quite burnt... well.. felt its worth it can liao....
wat did i buy
1) 3 skirts
2) 1 blouse
3) 1 rabbit's foot phone hanger (its for luck)
4) 1 lip gloss
5) 1 liquid eye liner
wat else ar... hmm... well these are the main highlites ba... haha....
Very good new to start off my day !
I got the SAP job !!!! hurray.... yippe..... yes !
Finally say good bye to my job less status... go work... but sian is so far.... Bedok le... aiyo... still dunno how to go there... should i by bus concession or train? long journey le.... think maybe train.... hmm see how ba... gotta buy these few days liao...
Also think gotta go shopping liao... buy more clothes... haha....
Lots of emotional thing going around mi now... hope to got work.... really really pray hard that the ppl that i'll be wif is ppl that is easy going ones... and pray hard that one of my frien that is also selected will be wif mi... i really really wish that will cum true...
CHEERS !!!
And thank you god for answering my prayers...
Yest is a crazy day for mi......
wat happen...? In the afternoon.. my ex called mi... he is my 2nd bf, now workin in New York.. open pub one .. remember the 911 incident.. his pub is jus beside the buildin lo.. so sway...
Er enuff of that.. well he called up, as usual.. his misses and cares... watever ! Want mi go out wif him for dinner before he goes back... i say see how ba...
Later on one of my closest(now not so liao.. coz of some unseen reason) sec sch frien call up.. we talked... sigh... Mi really miss talkin to him... he was my soul mate lo.. i used to tell him my stuff one..
After... my best buddy cum current soul mate call mi up...
He: Hey cum out ! Mission Impossible 3.. 4.30 pm... Ai mai..?
Me: Huh? now 3.05pm liao... now then tell mi
He: wan anot? wan anot?
... (Cut short some stuff)
Me: oki oki... 4pm meet u
end up we meet at 4.15pm.. buy ticket..buy drink.. go in watch show... the show not bad... mantain the standard... if ur impression of the show is bad.. then its still as bad... mi jus like one scene when they try to save the gal.. how 1 guy controls a few guns at a time... TECHNOLOGY !! I LUV ~~~ damn cool
Later on went out to orchard to walk and to meet a frien... on the way there... my another ex called... the 4th one... liew... why call man... 2 ex in a day... pengZ... call mi ask mi when free to meet.... well... didn't he realize... i have avoid him in msn many times... avoid his call many times... not to say i have not seen him for 1 year liao... still wanna 烦 mi for wat.... get a life.... move on... pls...
Got to Plaza sing... struggled 15 mins.. coz cannot see my frien... wah liew.... he damn bad navigator lo.... so stupid.... watever...finally found him... well talk for a while... talk abt his prob... his frien cum... then we continue to talk... later on go somewhere seat and talk... mi 'sister' msg mi say she damn sad... i panic and call... and we talk..... and talk and talk... neglect my frien... so pai seh... haha.... later on leave the two fella go off to boon lay find my sister.
That nite was suppose to meet someone important to mi one de.. but he say cannot meet... i damn upset... later on i avoid to go into fight wif him... but still mood as bad..
I neber eat for the day liao... thank goodness my sis brought down some chips and drinks... haha... wanna get drunk... LOL... well.. to get mi drunk is a hard.. but some drinks is good... i can have a better slp... i got bad slping problem one..
But really thanks gal.... love u lots.... haha....
We chat till 3am... then i go home.... wah.... mid nite cab cost mi 12 bucks sia.... lucky got progress... else... will sian 1/2 one lo.... 政府万岁 ！政府万岁 ！政府万岁 ！
I was child locked.. !!
lol... today met my 'Sis' at jp... haha... walk walk lo.... then later had a nice meal at Billy Bombers... end up cannot finish... haiz...
later her bf came and help us finish up the food... hee hee thank u alot....
then go walk walk more... then pass by the jigsaw world... saw the 3D jigsaw... its a jigsaw made into a sphere... its my favorite...... arrrhhh... mi actually got 2 of them liao.. but 1 of it at my ex bf house... that jerk refuse to return to mi... haiz ... so sad.... i wanna buy 1 more.... or i wanna buy a few more.... haha
lookin forward to buy one soon.... I dun care...
Time to go home... my sis's bf send mi back .... reach home... i cannot get out of the car... aiyo... then we took turns to check the door.... Ba Ga... in the found out... i got child locked in the car.... #%^&*$... ! i kid sia... lol...
well wat a day....
still ponderin... wat am i gonna do... should i make contact lense or frameless spec... ? huh... how wor...
Well I dun wan this to happen.. Its like everyone except mi is more anxious that why aren’t I getting a job?!
I’m tired and sick of explaining.. Look, I have been searching and looking.. its not that I’m not doing anything… so please jus get off my back and stop asking mi.. its driving me nuts. I’m getting quite pissed wif whoever is asking mi such questions. Stop acting as if u care.. and stop asking if you cared.. be more sensitive.. I don’t like ppl prompting into my personal life.. I rather say things out on my own accord.
ITS ME
